Today was BGMC (Boys and Girls Missionary Challenge) day at church. To put it simply, a special offering was taken during both the kids service and the adult service for BGMC. The kids have "Buddy Barrels" to collect/save change in during the week. Then on Sundays they can bring their barrels to chruch and give their offerings. The adults were encouraged to bring in their change for this week's collection drive.
Addie used the change she had saved and Ruby used change from her piggy bank. I also helped them out by letting them raid my extra change in the van.
When I first heard about this special offering, my mind immediately went to the box on my dresser. For several months, I have been putting all of my spare change from each day in a box that I keep on my dresser. As the money goes in the box, the ideas of what I will do with it grow in my mind. I have it narrowed down to 2 main ideas. 1. A great date night with my man when he gets home. 2. A nice welcome home present for Chris.
My plan was to give Addie and Ruby all of my pennies and then put a large handful of it in the offering bucket. Then this morning, as I was dividing up the coins, I heard a small whisper, "Give it all". Not wanting to part with all of it, I chose to ignore the voice. I just continued doing what I was doing to get ready for church. The harder I tried to put the idea out of my mind, the more often I would hear the distinct, calm command, "Give it all. Give it all." To appease the situation, I went back to the box and even grabbed a few more handfuls of coins. "There, that should be good. Shouldn't it?", I thought. It wasn't. I needed to give ALL of it. So, I did. Down to the very last dime. I finally made up my mind to relinquish my rights to the money God had originally blessed me with anyway.
My box is empty now. All my ideas will have to remain just nice ideas. But I feel full. Full of hope that the money will touch children's lives, introduce them to Jesus and change their lives. My small sacrifice has the opportunity to affect God's kingdom in a large way.
I also don't think that God asking me to "Give it all" had only to do with my pocket change. I keep hearing His whisper over and over. I don't know if I want to know what He means. It scares me to think about what He is asking. ALL=Everything. Everything=my family, my life, my husband, my kids, my dreams, my home, my health, my husbands' and kids' health, my comfort zone, etc. I know everything is His anyway, but again I would have to give up my rights to each one of them in order to fully surrender them to Him. That scares me beyond what I could explain. In my mind, it means He is asking me if I would trust in Him if He took something away from me. Not just for a season, but forever.
God, please help me. Amen
For more information about BGMC check out their website. http://bgmc.ag.org/
Wow, Sarah - what a powerful post. Absolutely incredible how God can use any situation, even something for our children, to speak directly to our hearts. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the fear of letting go - I experience that myself quite often. But having watched you grow, I feel SO very pressed to encourage you that God has so much good for you - so much more than you could imagine.
Look back to where you were a few years ago, even during Chris' first deployment, and remember all of the incredible things God has poured into your lap as you already have been choosing to let go, little by little. He is blessing you every step of the way - teaching you, encouraging you, strengthening you beyond anything you could have expected. Stand on His promises and step out in faith to let Him continue what He has begun (have you been reading your Philippians??).
Wow. I get goosebumps as I imagine what He could have in mind for you - dream big, sweetie. Go for it - give it all - if you don't, you may miss that amazing opportunity to see what He is preparing for you.
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9
Love you!