What a day!
6 little girls 11 and under (my 4 + my niece+a friends little girl who was here for a few hours) 1 with a major attitude problem and hence grounded to her room for the rest of the day. Another 1 should have had a nap but I buckled under the pressure and let her stay awake & play with her friend. Plus 1 more little girl who didn't like getting woke up early from her nap to go into town. Add to this mix a mommy who lost her temper, her patience, and her mind by 9 am. Not a pretty sight to behold.
I figured since I was going into town to take my niece home, I would just go to the Saturday night service at church. Plus, as a bonus, I would get to sleep in tomorrow morning. We arrived at church. I deposited each child into their assigned children's class. I moped into the sanctuary and found my seat. The first song started playing and I just stood there. I didn't have the energy or the "want to" to enter into worship. Deciding I was thristy, I quietly slipped out. On my way back in, I felt like I was being asked if I was going to participate in worship or was I going to waste it. I answered with a quiet yes, I would engage.
Back at my seat, I began to sing and worship God. A gentle voice whispered in my thoughts, "I love you, Sarah. When you are struggling, I am there. When your day has been frustrating, I am there. When you fail and lose your temper, I am there. When you feel like you don't want to go on anymore, I am there. Even when your day is great and predictable, I am there. I love you when you feel unloveable. I love you when you worship Me. I love you when you feel like you are at the end of your rope. I love you ."
As those words were reaching deep within my heart, my shoulders began to relax. Like a huge weight had been lifted off. I took a deep breath in and exhaled all my frustration. Each song that was sung reflected the love God has for me and I was renewed.
All of this because I said yes. It wasn't even a BIG yes, but a small, reluctant yes.
Did the rest of my night go just peachy because of my decision? No. And yes. My attitude changed, which lead to me to be open with a good friend, which then lead to an ice cream outing after church. But once we got in the van to go home, the sour milk hit the fan. Crying, fighting and gnashing of teeth ensued.
Lesson: being open and obedient to God doesn't always end in the happy ending you expect. God's main mission tonight was to remind me of His unconditional and unfailing love. He accomplished His goal and I am blessed because of it.
What do you need to say "yes" to?
No comments:
Post a Comment