I feel like I must apologize for being a bit harsh in yesterday's post. Maybe I should have picked a different outlet for venting. I'm sorry. With all of the emotions that are running through my life right now, the guard over my lips slipped. I was feeling a bit pushed to my limit of dealing with other people's choices, but I could have chosen to be the bigger person and held my tongue in such a public place.
Today was a better day. My sister, brother and I meet with the pastor doing Dad's memorial service. Then we decided on songs and pictures to be used in a slide show. I liked looking back on the old photos of him and us together. Things seemed so much more simple and normal. I saw glimpses of happiness that haven't been there for a while. I also saw my children in the faces of my younger self, my sister, my brother, mom and dad. I love that connection.
We still have more things to finish working on in order to be ready for the service on Friday. So many things to hurry up and get done. When will rest come? The only thing I see coming is more of the sinking in that my dad is no longer here.
Sweetie, I know it's so hard to see beyond the place where you are at right now, and that's totally okay. Just remember that God sees SO far beyond what you can see, and He has everything in His hands - He will help you move through this, one step at a time. Keep leaning on Him and remember that it's okay to be sad and miss your Dad. May God comfort you daily as He "knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day..." Matthew 6:33
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