Day 100 is here, and it's a bittersweet day.
It's been 100 days of me missing my husband and the girls missing their daddy.
100 days of all of us missing his hugs. Missing him coming in the door after work. Missing him singing "Take me out to the ballgame" to the girls at night. Missing his dirty socks balled up at the end of the couch. Missing our family being all together.
For me the one of the hardest parts is having to go to bed all alone. No goodnight hug or kiss. My arm wanders over to his side of the bed and instead of finding his strong arms I find cold sheets. Everynight as I get into bed I say out loud, "Good night Christopher. I love you!" And sometimes a "see you in the morning" slips out. That doesn't go over very with my heart. I know that in the morning I will wake up and the only thing that will be on the other side of the bed is the same empty spot that was there the night before. I really miss him.
While all of the above is my reality, Chris has it 100 times worse. At least I get hugs and kisses from our girls. I get to sleep in our own familar bed. I am only missing one major part of my normal life and he is missing ALL. Despite that, he has a pretty good attitude. Way better than I would have. He amazes me.
There are a few upsides of having 100 days go by....We don't ever have to do them again! We don't have to go backward and relive any of these past days. They are forever behind us! Yes, we have missed a lot of things but we have never been completely alone. God has been with us every step of the way and many times carrying us through the day. Seeing and feeling His presence is one thing that has made this journey worthwhile. It is God who will give me the strength I need to make it the rest of the 265 days.
"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
You are amazing!
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