Day One hundred and thirty-eight

I haven't said this for a while...I really miss my hubby! I want him to come home. I am tired of doing this alone. It's not like I don't think these things every hour of every day, I'm just trying to be the big girl and not bring it up on every post.

This morning I was thinking how it feels like it's been so long since he left. Then I did the math. It's only been 4 1/2 months and we still have 7 whole months to go. That thought overwhelms me. Just when I thought things were moving right along, dumb 'ol reality has to come and kick me in the shins.

Zoe has been sick since Saturday night with a fever and vomiting. All I have really done since then is hold her. I am not complaining about having to care for her or cuddle her. It's just hard to do that AND everything else. I feel so bad when I have to put her down so I can do something for the other girls or just even go to the restroom because she starts to cry and say "hold you momma".  She looks so sad and miserable. Grace, Addie and Ruby need me also. I feel so torn and guilty. I just can't do everything for everyone and I wish I could. This situation calls for their Daddy and for my partner in crime.

Chris called this morning and talked to Zoe. He asked her if she wanted Daddy to hold her and she nodded her head yes. I know this is hard on his daddy's heart. Not being able to help her feel better, to fix things for her, or give her hugs. He needs her just as much as she is needing him. I see it in her eyes and I can hear it in his voice.

I know God will get us all through this. He will keep us tucked safely under His wings. Zoe will not be sick forever, Chris will come home and we will be all together again. Hurry up October!!