It feels like it comes from out of nowhere and then POW! It's like a punch in the stomach. That lonely feeling. The feeling of just not wanting to do this another day alone.
I miss having Daddy home. Being the only parent and the only responsible adult in the house is tiring. I'm the rule maker, the rule enforcer, the punishment giver, the cook, the cleaner, the everything! I'm tired.
I know I just had a nice little overnight break with the Diva's and you probably think that I'm being ridiculous. The break was nice but it felt like I was punished for it. As soon as I walked in the door reality smacked me in the face. The girls were being naughty, disrespectful and whiny. So not the "Mommy! You're home!" said with happy smiles as they come running to me with hugs ready I ensvisioned. Instead, I was shoved right into the Enforcer/Punisher role. As you can guess, it wasn't met with hugs and rainbows.
Today was better, but I'm still feeling the emotional aftershocks. Without having a lot of reserves stored up, I'm easily emptied. This journey has been long and drawn out. I'm so ready for the end. 60 days. I can do it. With God's help, I can do it.
"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Ps. 62:1-2
No comments:
Post a Comment