Day Two hundred and ninety-eight

My sweet Zoe has been sick today. As much as I feel so bad for her, a little bit of me smiled. Not because she was feeling yucky but because I knew it meant that I would be spending most of my day cuddling with her. We snuggled up on the couch with blankies and pillows. She took turns between laying on my lap and resting on my shoulder. I loved feeling her heartbeat against me, smelling her hair and kissing her sweet face. These are cherished moments.

I wish I could stop time or at least stop her from growing up. She's my last baby and I don't want it to go by so fast. It doesn't feel all that long ago when my Gracie was just a little baby. The newness of motherhood was apparently fresh in everything I did. That same little girl is now 11 years old. Why does that time go by so fast and these last 298 days have gone so slow?

God, please slow the moments I have with Zoe. Help me to embrace this time I get to spend with her alone. Help to spend more time down on the floor playing, reading books, chasing her, singing with her and cuddling with her. I want this same desire to be an in-the-moment-mommy to spill over to my other kids. To stop talking first and listen more. To say "Yes" more than I say "No!". More "do what I do" and less "do what I say". Be the reflection of God's love and grace in every situation. And give them no reason in heaven and earth to ever doubt my love for them.
All of this happens by me first relying on You, Lord. My me giving up my ways, my worries, and my pride and surrender to You. It happens by me taking the girls out of my tight grip and remembering they are already being held gently in Your hands.
I thank You and praise You for Your unfailing love and unending grace. Amen



A cute little post script:
If I had to leave her to do something or get her something I would tell her, "I'll be right back honey". Zoe would respond by saying, "I not honey. I Zowee."