Day One hundred and twenty-nine

Have you ever wondered, "How can I help a military family?" After talking with a few wives of husbands who are in Chris' unit, we have come up with a few practical and helpful ideas.

1. Phone calls, emails, text messages.
     It's amazing what a simple phone call can do to brighten our day. An email can be short and simple but can leave a big impact on us. Just hearing from friends that they are thinking of us or asking us how we are doing or being available to listen means a lot. A couple of us wives mentioned that some of our friends have stopped calling. One said her friend didn't want to hurt her feelings because her husband was home. Trust us...It will not hurt our feelings because your husband is home and ours is not. Please don't shy away. We need you.

2. Meals.
     I know you usually bring meals to families when they have had a baby or a death in the family, but providing a meal for a military family is just as helpful. We have so much on our plates... being both mom and dad 24/7, worrying about the safety of our soldier, being alone, and handling all of our duty's plus the ones our husbands used to do. Knowing that we can have a hot meal provided for us from time to time takes a lot of stress off of us.

3. Invite us over.
     This kind of goes along with #2. Invite us over to share a meal with you and your family. We miss the family feeling of meals and the normalcy that it brings. It doesn't have to be fancy. Even mac n cheese and chicken nuggets eaten with friends can taste like a million bucks. Maybe it's not a meal you have us over for, maybe it's a game or movie night. We miss those times and getting out of our house to spend an evening with friends can help break up our waiting for our hubby's to come home. It will not make us feel worse about our situation, actually the opposite will happen.

4. Say something. Anything.
     Please don't ignore us because you don't know what to say or because you can't relate to what we are going through. We are mom's, wives, and friends just like before. It hurts to walk into a group of acquaintaces and not be spoken to. We already feel lonely without our husbands. You don't have to be eloquent or have just the right words, you just have to say something. Anything.

5. Have a shoulder available, an ear ready and a hug to give.
     There may be a time when you ask us how we are doing and we begin to cry. Don't feel like you have done something wrong. We may just be barely keeping it together and when someone comes to us and asks us how we are, we can't keep it in for one more minute. We just have to let it out. A hug at that time would be incredibly appreciated. It's not often that we get hugs from people taller than 3 feet tall and who don't have snotty noses that they are just trying to wipe on our shoulders.

6. Pray for us.
     This should really be #1 on my list. Prayer can mean the difference between getting through the day and not being able to get out of bed to start it. Asking us what specific things you can pray for during the week or month would make it more personal. Letting us know that we have been in your prayers is very encouraging.

7. Babysitting.
     This one takes a bit more effort. Offering to babysit our kids so we can do the grocery shopping alone for once, clean the house without the kids following us around the house clinging to us, or have a night out with a friend. There are weeks when every waking minute is spent with our kids right by our side. Not that that is a horrible thing, but with our husbands gone we seriously don't get a break at all. There's no I'll take care of this kid and Daddy can help with the other. We are it and we get drained quickly. Trust me, we can only lock ourselves in the bathroom so many times before it loses it's charm.

**Kendra, Sarah and Stephanie: I hope I have done a good job listing ideas. If there is something I have missed or something you would like to add, please leave a comment. Love you ladies!!