Under no circumstance please do not ask my children to rate my parenting skills today. I would fail miserably. I was on edge all day and short with the girls. I chose to be quick to get angry and slow to listen. I couldn't wait to put them to bed and just have quiet.
Then, as I was rocking and singing Jesus Loves Me to Ruby and Zoe, thoughts started whirling through my head. It was just yesterday when Ruby and I were reading a devotion about Galatians 6:9: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." We talked about how even when people aren't nice to us or notice that we are doing good that God wants us to keep on doing good. I explained to Ruby that it's about being obedient even when we don't want to. I also told her that little kids aren't the only ones that have to obey, but so do mommy's and daddy's. We have to obey laws, rules at work, etc AND we have obey God.
I stopped rocking the girls and asked Ruby if today I made it feel like she was always in trouble. She quietly said yes. Then I asked her how that made her feel? She answered me, even quieter, that she felt like I didn't love her. That broke my heart. I told her that I was sorry. I was sorry that I chose not to do good even when I was having a bad day and that I was not to being obedient to God. I explained to her that instead of asking God to help me with my frustration mommy decided to just be mad. I then assured her that I love her like crazy. That no matter how bad of a day mommy is having that my love for her never changes. She quickly told me that she forgave me and gave me a big hug and kiss. I wish I was that quick to forgive and move on. Maybe I should be taking lessons from her.
After I gave Ruby and Zoe a final good night kiss, I went downstairs and apologized to Grace and Addie. It has been a humbling night for me, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
tough lesson learned...ouch. but it does a heart good to be able to talk to your lil babes and know they listened yesterday and truly soaked up Gods truth..so kuddos to you for being able to recognize what needed to be said, which was sorry i was wrong,i messed up, God isnt finished with me yet :} that will speak louder to your girls then you know. good job..love ya
ReplyDeleteAmen, Janis! Sounds like a tough day for you, Sarah, but I am proud of you for finishing strong - nothing speaks louder than a humble and heartfelt apology. Awesome job in letting God lead you to that place; we should all go there more often.
ReplyDeleteHugs and love to you! Keep pouring truth into those beautiful girls and soaking it up yourself as well!